


Cause if You’re Still Breathing (You're the lucky one)

by accidental_genius1



Category: DCU (Comics), Detective Comics (Comics), Forever Evil (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), The Flash - All Media Types, Titans (Comics)
Genre: Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Dick Grayson is a Better Parent Than Bruce Wayne, Donna Troy is a good friend, M/M, Protective Wally West, Wally West is a good boyfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28129077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accidental_genius1/pseuds/accidental_genius1
Summary: Helping people, that had always been normal for Dick but with the situation that occurred due to the events prospered by the Crime Syndicate, he is left with almost no one."Dick Grayson, you absolute idiot. You fool.""What can I say Walls, it's my speciality."
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain & Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson & Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Donna Troy, Dick Grayson & Everyone, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Roy Harper, Dick Grayson & Tim Drake, Dick Grayson & Wally West, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Stephanie Brown & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
Comments: 22
Kudos: 156





	1. I’m Running Myself Ragged (There’s no one to stop me)

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from 'Youth' by Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gunshot wound, he could deal with that. He had dealt with shit that had been worse.

Dick nursed the wound on his side.

' A gunshot wound,' he noted. 'He could deal with it. He dealt with worse pains than that.' He looked around to check whether there was anyone in the alleyway he had stumbled upon and when he found out there was no one, he quickly stumbled in and took a seat beside the dumpster.  
  
  
Calling for help, was not an option. He had hurt enough people with his 'fake-death-but-not-fake-death.'  
  
He groaned as he lifted the upper kevlar part of his Nightwing suit when his phone rang out. He fished his phone out of his pocket and accepted the call.

"Hey babe, I'm at your apartment. Are you finishing your patrol? I've got popcorn and movies picked out."  
  
"Yeah Walls, I'll be there." He groaned in pain.  
  
Wally's voice rang out, "Babe, what happened? Where are you? Are you fine? Oh, my god are you dying? I'm coming. Tell me where you are."  
  
Dick groaned out his answer and in a crack of lightning, Wally was in front of him, picking him up and running to his dingy little apartment.

Wally laid him gently on the couch and rushed to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. After stitching up the wound, he was gently carried away to his bed.  
  
Dick felt himself slipping. No one had treated him with so much gentle care and touches since...  
  
Since Crime Syndicate.

Dick felt himself sobbing, ugly sobbing. The one where he could not hold himself in. The one where all the years of his hero duty trauma came up. The one where...  
  
From which only a few people could ever wake him up from.  
  
He was wrapped in long, lanky arms. A bright red shirt, the one Wally was wearing. He felt Wally's finger card through his hair, slowly anchoring him to reality. The one where he was still alive and the one where, where he still was the little kid who brought joy to everyone's like. Not the person he was today, the one who brought poison in everyone's life.

"Babe, I can feel you're overthinking. Stop it," Wally murmured from his position behind Dick.  
  
"What can I do Walls. I'm a professional overthinker," Dick replied.  
  
"Well, I can declare that you're an idiot."  
  
"Well, you're right about that bit."  
  
"Nah, you might be an idiot but you would always be mine, you know. It's gonna take a lot to keep us apart."  
  
"It wasn't that Walls..." Dick trailed off at the end of his sentence.  
  
"Then what was it Dickie?"

Dick took a deep breath in. He was not supposed to say anything. He was not...  
  
He had not been thinking very well.  
  
"What was it then Dickie? You know that nothing would make me hate you, right?" Wally said.  
  
Dick nodded. Wally knew about his colossal fuckups and yet here he was, still sitting beside Dick and...  
  
Loving him like no one other. Loving him more than he deserved from anyone. Maybe he could tell Wally about it.

"You remember how Bruce asked me to fake my death and go off to save every hero's identities? Well, I died. I died for a few minutes," Dick said.  
  
Wally's fingers were still running through his hair and he said, "You know when Donna told me about what happened, I kinda always knew. You could not fake something that big on the screen."  
  
Dick's throat dried up as he continued, "Luthor, he, he strangled me. "  
  
Wally's fingers which were running through his hair stopped momentarily, probably to give himself a speedster minute to think and then his fingers returned to his hair but now it was alternating between drawing shapes on his back and moving through his hair.  
  
"Luthor strangled me and I was so fucking tired. Everyone was just gone. You were gone, Dami..."  
  
Dick sucked in a breath, "Dami was gone too. I did not want to fight anymore. And then, I was brought back with an adrenalin shot straight to my heart and here I was, alive and kicking."

"They had my funeral Walls, while I laid comatose in the Cave. Then when I woke up a week later..."  
  
Dick's voice was not coming out. It was not.  
  
There was something wrong.  
  
Wally was there behind him.  
  
He was not in the Cave.  
  
He could feel Wally's warm breath on his neck. He was alive.  
  
Wally's mouth moved to his ears, holding him as close as he could and the Wally spoke up, "You don't have to tell me what happened Dickie."

He wanted to tell Wally what happened. Then perhaps the weight could lift from his heart.  
  
So he continued, "Bruce, he threw me around some ragged doll. He forced me to go undercover."  
  
Wally snuck in a deep breath and a trembling voice he asked, "Dickie, did he... Did he hit you?"  
  
Dick nodded and then started sobbing away. Moving so he could wrap his arms around Wally.  
  
So that he could anchor himself to the fact that he was still alive and breathing.

\---X---

As soon as Dick was fast asleep on the bed, Wally quietly slipped out of the bed and took out his phone.  
  
He scrolled through his list of contacts and then, "Hello Wally, why are you calling so late?" Donna's voice rang out.  
  
"Hey, Don. Umm, remember how Dick was doing his mission for Spyral? He died Don, he died and then he was revived and sent off, forced to, by Bruce."  
  
Donna's breath seemed to hitch at the other end. She started, "What do you mean that he was forced to go away by Bruce? Do you mean that..." Her voice seemed to trail off at that thought.  
  
"Yeah, Bruce hit him. Don, people are giving him shit for something that he can't control."  
  
Wally sat on the chair and continued, "Don, he helped me. When my father was being an arsehole and here, I can't even help him."  
  
Donna's voice sounded off from the other end, "Walls, he...he doesn't want to lose another father. Maybe that is why he doesn't even entertain the possibility. And even then, he is an idiot, a self-sacrificing idiot who has siblings there and probably doesn't even trust Bruce with them."  
  
Wally ran his fingers through his hair and said, "Yeah, that's probably right. But, he...you should have seen him today Don. He thinks that he doesn't deserve love and care anymore."  
  
Donna said, "That sounds bad but hey... get some sleep. He probably won't want you losing sleep over him."  
  
Wally said, frustrated, "That is the problem. He feels like he doesn't deserve anything."

\---X---


	2. One Minute I Held The Key (Next The Walls Were Closed On Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick's phone rang out. He picked the call without seeing the caller Id.  
> Damian's voice rang out from the other end

Dick's phone rang out. He picked the call without seeing the caller Id.  
Damian's voice rang out from the other end.

"Hello Grayson, I hope you are coming to the Manor for Sunday's dinner," Damian's hopeful voice rang out. To anybody else, it would seem like an order but Dick had spent a lot of time around Damian to differentiate between the tones he used.

Now how was he supposed to explain that he would love to come but he had underlying trauma from the man that Damian called 'Father'?

"Sorry Dami, I'm busy this weekend but maybe you could come to Blüdhaven for your extracurricular activities," Dick said, speaking before thinking as always. 

Speaking before he could think of a good reason to avoid the Manor.

He could almost hear the frown in Damian's voice when he spoke again.

"Grayson, you promised that you would come to visit."

And, he was regretting his decision in arming Damian with a puppy voice. He could never say no to that.

Then suddenly Stephanie's voice rang out from the other end, "Hey Dick. Come on visit the Manor this Sunday. We miss you and Damian looks like he almost wants to cry. Also, Cass says hi."

Dick bit his lips. He could not say no to that. Then an angry voice rang out on the other end, "Brown, I'm not going to cry."

The sound of something hitting someone came from the other end and an 'Oww' was also muttered. Dick thought that whatever Damian had thrown had found his mark on Stephanie.

Then a quiet voice rang out, Cass's voice from the other end, "Miss you. Please come. Bring Wally."

Now that was a request he couldn't say no to.

So he did what an idiot would do.

He said yes.

There was a joyful shout at the other end.

Well, he was a performer. He would not let them, his precious little siblings, see him broken

And it was always worth it.

\---X---

Dick had to call Wally and ask him but he should have expected the reaction.

"What the hell, Dick. You aren't going there. I will stop you if you even set a foot in Gotham. I will and no one would be able to stop me you big Buffon."

Dick sighed. He should have not expected anything else.

"Walls, they called me. Dami sounded so pathetically young. I could not say no to that. And Steph too along with Cass."

Wally's groan was heard from the other end of the phone and then, "You can't say no to them anytime."

Dick replied in affirmative.

Then Wally's voice was heard from the other end, quieter than before, "I hope you are not planning on going without me. I would castrate you if you would even try to."

Dick replied, "Of course Walls. I would never think to do so. So Sunday then?"

Wally replied, "Of course. I love you, you big idiot."

Dick felt a smile bloom o his face. There was nothing but adoration in Wally's voice. He replied, "I love you too, Kid Mouth."

And with that, the phone call ended.

And Dick was snapped back to reality.

\---X---

The next Sunday arrived faster than he expected. 

Much faster than he could expect.

But at least Wally was beside him. He could depend on that.

And the dark gloomy shadows of the Manor arrived faster than expected, but it was okay. He would not let that deter him.

Both of them got out of the car. Wally gave his hands a light squeeze.

He could not breathe. He was having trouble doing that.

Could he run away? Far away from here but before he could even make that decision, tiny hands opened the big gate and Dick had a handful of Damian.

Damian had made his house in his neck, snuggled in his arms.

It was bad. Damian never initiated physical contact.

"I missed you, Richard," Damian's muffled voice was heard.

Dick could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He said to Damian, "I missed you too kiddo."

Damian then noticed Wally's presence beside him. He jumped down from Dick's arms and said, "West, you came. Nice to see you here."

Wally grinned at Damian and said, "Nice to see you too Damian."

\---X---

As both of them entered the Manor along with Damian in tow, Dick was hugged by Cass and Steph, both of them taking their turns in turning into a koala. Wally was hugged by Steph and Cass said to him, while hugging him, "Thank you for coming. Bringing Dick too. Missed both of you."

Dick's throat dried up. He was a bad big brother.

Wally tightened his grip on Dick's hands as if he could sense the thoughts that were going on in his head. Wally leaned in to press a feather-light kiss on his cheek as if to assure Dick.

And a kiss on the cheek from Dick's favourite ginger in the whole world was all he needed to ground himself.

\---X---

Dinner was an awkward affair. Even Jason and Tim had joined the dinner with Bruce too and nobody wanted to speak the first word.

Wally, who normally thrived in chaos was also quietly eating his dinner and glaring at Bruce. 

Jason took the honour of breaking the silence that had spread over the dining table.

"So Goldie, where had you been?"

Wally quietly frowned in his seat.

Dick answered, "I have been busy with uh... the Nightwing and police stuff, you know."

Jason hummed into the spoon that was in his mouth and it was silence again.

Wally relaxed back into his seat.

Then Tim spoke up, "So, what are you doing nowadays? Faking deaths here and there?"

Dick visibly flinched back into his seat, trying to make himself smaller while Wally fumed in his seat.

Wally pushed his plate away carefully before he stood up from his seat and said, "We were busy, you know, patrolling Blüdhaven and managing the Titans because no one seems to want to offer him some help."

When everyone looked down to their plates, Wally felt a sick sense of satisfaction.

He continued further, not wanting to look at Dick, "Jason, did you know what Robin is? He did not hate you or anything he was just angry at Bruce, for giving something that his _mother_ called him, after _kicking him_ out of the house."

Jason looked horrified at the sentence and Wally was still wanting to fuel the fire that was growing inside of him.

"Oh, and did you know? He died, Dick died and no one avenged him. You all have been giving him shit for his 'fake' death, huh. Well onto your face then, he died and no one avenged him and instead, he was beaten out and send to a mission and his own father, Bruce shook hands with his killer just three days after his death. You all probably know him, it's Lex Luthor."

Wally caught the horrified expression on everyone's face with Bruce sinking into his seat and then he turned to Dick.

Dick looked one step away from crying so he slowly picked him up and whispered, "Sorry Babe. Sorry for ruining your diner with your family but they were assholes," and ran straight towards the Titans tower. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is up peeps.


	3. You’re In Control (Rid Of The Monsters Inside Your Head)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim and Jason watched the footage with horror.  
>   
> They really shouldn't have brought the others into this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, the chapter title is taken from the song King.

None of them could believe what he was hearing. 

As soon as Dick and Wally had exited the Manor, Bruce had rushed on patrol while the others quietly moved towards the Batcomputer as soon as Bruce left.

"Tim, can you access the Batcave or cowl footage of the day that Dick died," Jason asked from behind the chair on which Tim was sitting on.

Tim groaned in frustration and said, "The footage for that day for the cave is missing but here, the cowl footage is there..."

Tim clicked on the thumbnail of a video and that day appeared in front of them in full colour and they could only watch in horror.

_“How many times have we done this? How many rules have I given you? Where you fight. How you fight. We’ve done this so many times. We’ve had so many rules. We need to do it again. You and me. I need to see if they broke you. I need to see if you still have the heart you once had. So, one more time, Dick. But now there’s only_ **_one_ ** _rule … you have to win.”_

Sure. Dick and Bruce had fought before, even gone as far as physical fights. But this. This was on a whole different level. Instead, Bruce had taken him to the Batcave, turned off the security feed and disabled the elevator. He wanted to take advantage of Dick’s death. He wanted to send him undercover to the Crime Syndicate.

He handed Dick a domino mask and told him to wrap his hands. Bruce was still wearing the cowl. He told him that the fight only had one rule. Dick had to win.

Usually, during a spar, there would be friendly banter. This was no spar. There was no banter. Instead, Bruce accused him.

Bruce kicked at him. “You let the crime syndicate capture you. You let them torture you. You let them give your secrets to the world.”

Dick easily dodged, “You weren’t there.”

Another kick. “You let them turn you into a bomb. You let them kill you. Before Luthor rescued you, you let everyone watch you die.”

Dick flipped over Bruce, using the man’s head to propel him. “I was trying to save people!” he gritted out. He wasn’t fast enough to dodge the elbow and it hit him in the jaw.

“I trained you to live. And I watched you die!”

Dick whipped the blood from his nose. “Bruce… What is this?” he asked. He never saw the foot coming. He went flying backwards.

“I need to know if you’re strong enough to make the sacrifices we will always have to make.”

He slammed into one of the Robin costume displays, shattering the glass. 

Bruce stalked over to him. “I have a mission for you, Dick,” he said, looming over the fallen man. “I need you to do something that will hurt your friends. Your Family.”

Dick’s heart stopped for the second time in two days. He slowly picked himself up. “Bruce, what the hell is going on?!”

“Everyone thinks you’re dead. I need you to stay dead.”

Dick looked like he couldn’t believe it. How could Bruce even consider asking him to do such a thing?

“NO!” he screamed, slamming his foot into Bruce’s chest. He grabbed the Robin cape.

“Good. Fight.” Bruce said. “Fight like a man who can’t be captured. Who won’t be killed? Fight like you’re alive!”

Dick wrapped the cape around Bruce’s neck and pulled. He slammed the other man down and Bruce let out a grunt. Bruce grabbed a giant dice and threw it at him. It collided with the back of his head, splitting in half with a sickening crack.

“Spyral. The espionage group.”

“No. I won’t do it. I can’t stay dead. I can’t do it to them!” He grabbed Bruce and threw him into one of the Riddler’s giant question marks.

“They fight the usual evil around the world.”

“But...Tim?” And a tear slipped out of Tim's eyes as he saw it.

Somehow they had gotten on top of the T-Rex. 

“Terrorists. Murderers. The cowardly and the superstitious.”

Dick swiped at him with a tooth he’d grabbed from the dinosaur. “Jason?”

Jason's hands rolled into a fist.

“A lot of people fight these days.” Bruce’s next punch sent him flying once more.

“Alfred? Barbara?” Dick slammed into the computer.

Cass and Steph picked up their fingers and looked with horror at the screen.

“Spyral is the best.” Dick kicked him, sending Bruce into the other computer. “I know because they're the best because it took me this long to find out what they're doing underneath all that.”

“I can’t!” Dick was begging at this point. He couldn’t do this to his brothers. 

Bruce followed. “They’re hunting masked heroes.”

“They’re my family, Bruce” he pleaded.

Another kick. “They want our identities.”

Dick jumped over to the bike. “If I’m dead if they think I’m dead…”

Another punch. “Our secrets.”

He dodged. “After Damian?”

Damian looked like he wanted to sob his heart out at that statement. Cass wrapped a comforting arm around him and Damian did not even utter a word but leaned into her.

Bruce’s next kick broke the bike in two. “Who we hate. Who we love…”

“They’re my family! My family!” Dick yelled.

“They’re looking for who we really are, Dick.”

“I can’t do it to them… I just can’t”

“We won’t let them do it.”

“I’m alive, Bruce.”

“You can’t let them do it.”

“I’m ALIVE!” He roared, barreling into Bruce, sending them both crashing into the batmobile. The windshield shattered beneath them.

“If they know our secrets, we won’t be able to fight.” 

“How can you ask me to do this, Bruce?” he said, raising a shaky fist.

“Do you know how many people will die if we can’t fight?” Bruce said, swinging his foot out and sending Dick flying once more.

“How can you do this to ME!” Dick demanded.

“We need a man inside. Finding out what Spyral knows. What they want to know. We need you.” Bruce said, “They’ll come for you now. They’ll want someone like you. Someone off the grid who knows our secrets. If you’re not dead, they’ll come for you. A masked man without a mask.”

Dick slowly pulled himself up again, spitting out blood. “After everything, how can you put this on me?”

“Why do we fall, Dick?” Bruce asked, “We fall so we can learn to get back up.”

“No,” Dick said, raising a hand to his face. “No, that’s not true.” He shakily peeled off the domino mask, “We fall because someone pushes us.” He gets to his feet. “We get up to push back.”

He blocked Bruce’s next punch. “Things can’t be the same.”

“I know the other heroes. I know them all.” Bruce growled out, “I’d have them do it, but they can’t. They’d fight, but eventually, they’d give up, they’d give in. And Spyral would use them to get the rest of us.”

“After this, Bruce, after asking this, between us -- it can’t be the same again,” Dick said, blocking another punch. He couldn’t win. He saw that now. Bruce was stubborn and would not stop. No matter what he did, how much he begged, he was going to get sent off either way

“I know I’m hurting you. My family. I’m making this sacrifice because I don’t give up. I don’t give in.” Bruce said, “But what about you? Are you them? Or are you me? After the crime syndicate captured you, tortured you, **killed** you -- tell me Dick, my boy, after all this-” Another punch. “-will you give up? Will you give in?”

“I’M NOT YOUR BOY!” Dick screamed, slamming his fist into Bruce’s face. The man flew backwards. Dick was seething. How dare he. HOW dare he.

“...That’s enough,” Bruce said, taking off the cowl.

“No,” Dick said, “It’s never enough.” He sat down next to Bruce, “One rule.” he stated, “I win.”

Bruce put his arm around Dick’s shoulders. “Good” 

\---X---

Jason and Tim watched in horror as the fight ended while the others already had resorted to other means.

"We really fucked this up," Tim said.

They closed the computer and looked around. They really shouldn't have brought the others into this.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, how was it for my first fanfiction?


End file.
